I'm a fucking walking paradox

Before I could ever let you go, gonna beg until I drive you mad and say something you could...

Wed, 27 Jul 2011 21:35:40 -0400

Before I could ever let you go, gonna beg until I drive you mad and say something you could understand. I’m a statue baby, knock me out. Oh how these moments fade away, you say you never loved me. We say things we didn’t mean to say… I take it back, I take it all back now. I take it back, I take it all back.. Paralyzed by the same old antics, back and forth like some walking spastic. How could a fistfight be romantic? Thinking back now will you ever feel the same? You mean more to me than you’ll ever know. You’re my girl and I think it’s a shame that we get along this way. I’m just a statue try to knock me out. I guess these moments fade away, saying you never loved me. We say things we didn’t mean to say… I take it back, I take it all back now. I take it back, I take it all back. Paralyzed by the same old antics, back and forth like some walking spastic. How could a fistfight be romantic? Thinking back now will you ever feel the same? Yeah I know you feel the same, you gotta let me know, I’m dying inside to know, knock me out. I’m dying inside to know. Let me know, knock me out.

I found fountains of imagery that are passing through me like a knife, from a group of friends that...

Wed, 27 Jul 2011 21:32:55 -0400

I found fountains of imagery that are passing through me like a knife, from a group of friends that prefer to attack from the back. I’m trying to grasp concepts of your dimensions, while my universe is laced around your wrist. I am the bracelet you sport. I am everything that you have ever missed, and more.

I was hoping I could tell you this with two feet on the ground, but I don’t think I can talk, because I’m not very stable right now.

In this dream that I had…. ”You can’t kill heroes” - that’s what we said to them. ”You can’t kill us.” With our instruments broken before us, and the boys in the line they begin to count to five. And the trigger pulls, the bullets pepper the brick wall behind our heads and the smoke, it fills the air. The captain yells to cease fire and the squad begins to wait and stare, as the dust clears the air, and we’re still standing with smiles on both our faces we spit their faulty ammo to the ground and remind them once again with smiles on both our faces we spit their faulty ammo to the ground and remind them once again that you can’t kill heroes.

I was hoping I could tell you this with two feet on the ground, but I don’t think I can talk, because I’m not very stable right now.
No, I’m not very stable right now.
No, I’m not very stable right now.

I fear a world without the sun.

Wed, 27 Jul 2011 21:29:36 -0400

The day the sun never rose, cold swept the world, and now stone and ice, the children she forms. I lift my eyes to take in horizons of skin. The cold is creeping to meet with wrath above and you’ll soon be fearing to see what it kept us away from. I fear a world without the sun. I fear a world without the sun, but never who wished it gone. The trees are dead, yet alive more than ever, growing flesh where once were leaves. They stretch instead of tower, like bone wrapped giants they reach. Oh, but nothing stirs like the fire’s thunder. The cold is creeping to meet with wrath above and you’ll soon be fearing to see what it kept us away from. I fear a world without the sun. I fear a world without the sun, but never who wished it gone. And now the ground pulses, constricting for birth.

Blowing off steam.

Wed, 27 Jul 2011 21:20:19 -0400

My dog is being annoying as hell right now. He just had to come with me on my trip up to Virginia. Which was a long drive.

So far, it’s boring as hell here. I saw him the day I left. We fucked.
Almost, anyways.

As soon as I got to Virginia, I was greeting by my dad, sister, and her best friend. My sister had been in Pennsylvania for two months, so it was relaxing seeing her again. However, awkward at the same time as I’m not all that close to her best friend and I’m shy as hell. We talked all night, which was fine, but my sister kept forcing me to update her on my life. I have no problem at all with doing so, since my sister is one of my best friends, but I felt as if I’d be judged by the other girl. So I sat there with my mouth shut and went to sleep early.

Tomorrow I’m seeing several old friends, which sound keep me entertained for the day. At least I hope.

So now I don’t know what to do. I’m pretty bitter at the moment and I’m feeling too dependent on a certain someone. I would smoke real quick, but the last pack of cigarettes I bought were crushed. Thanks a lot, what if I just stole all your weed and flushed it down the fucking toilet? I’m sure you wouldn’t like that, now would you? I mean, I can just get more. But my family doesn’t exactly approve of smoking, hell, they have idea I’ve smoked one damn cigarette. Plus it’s getting late anyways, they might think something’s up?

Despite the crushing of my beloved cigarettes, that day was pretty kick ass. Skinny dipping, wasted, and showing my white ass off to all my friends? Fuck yeah. What a nice way to spend my last day in Florida before I came back here.

Photo

Wed, 27 Jul 2011 21:06:49 -0400

Photo

Wed, 27 Jul 2011 21:06:33 -0400

I wish I was pretty. I was I was skinny. I was I was good enough for this world.

Sat, 16 Jul 2011 18:39:53 -0400

Girls complain about the fact that there are no "genuinely nice boys" out there. But there are. You're just looking by them and going for the hot musicians that will fuck you over because you mean NOTHING to them whereas that average looking, amazingly kind boy will love you no matter what and would treat you better than anyone else ever could.

Sat, 16 Jul 2011 18:39:26 -0400

I want to die, but I can't leave you here by youself. I love you. I'm staying for you.

Sat, 16 Jul 2011 18:38:52 -0400

Got arrested.

Sat, 16 Jul 2011 18:37:30 -0400

Wow -___-

So I know that you love me. I know, I know, I know. I DO listen when you talk, even though sometimes I get distracted by other wonderful things. I just want to say that I can't ever happily be with you, no matter how stubborn or persistent you are. The simple honest truth of it is, even though I (kind of) adore you, I can't stand you. You just suck sometimes.

Sat, 16 Jul 2011 13:56:06 -0400

Photo

Sat, 16 Jul 2011 13:55:35 -0400

Photo

Sat, 16 Jul 2011 13:55:10 -0400

I swear sometimes you’re taking me for granted, I swear sometime your a whore, I swear but I...

Sat, 16 Jul 2011 01:13:38 -0400

I swear sometimes you’re taking me for granted, I swear sometime your a whore, I swear but I know there ain’t no reason, ’cause everything is such a bore. Last night I had a dream, though it made me sick, saw you in your bedroom sucking someone else’s dick. MY GOODNESS! My friends all laughed, said it was my fault, said it’s time that it happened to me, but I know that the show was much more than a low, so I’m waiting for the tide to get low. If I was an ant crawling upon the wall, tell me baby would it make any difference at all? If I was a roach on a tree, tell me, would you smoke me? Bright lights put me in a trance, but it ain’t house music, makes me want to dance. Word. I don’t gamble but I bet I’m gonna die if I don’t get a cigarette. Hold me close, I always play the mack with this monkey on my back.

When you grab a hold of me, you tell me that I’ll never be set free. I’m a...

Sat, 16 Jul 2011 01:11:00 -0400

When you grab a hold of me, you tell me that I’ll never be set free. I’m a parasite, creep and crawl I step into the night. Two pints of booze, tell me are you a badfish too? Are you a badfish too? Ain’t got no money to spend. I know the night will never end. Lord knows I’m weak, won’t somebody get me off of this reef? Baby you’re a big blue whale, grab the reef when all duck diving fails. I swim, but wish I never learned. The water’s too polluted with germs. I dive deep when it’s ten feet overhead, grab the reef underneath my bed. Ain’t got no quarrels with god. Ain’t got no time to grow old. Lord knows I’m weak, won’t somebody get me off of this reef?

You’ve got your hair permed, you’ve got your red dress on screamin’ that second...

Sat, 16 Jul 2011 01:09:17 -0400

You’ve got your hair permed, you’ve got your red dress on screamin’ that second gear was such a turn on, and the fog forming on my window tells me that the morning here and you’ll be gone before too long. Who taught you those new tricks? Damn I shouldn’t start that talk, but life is one big question when your starin at the clock and the answers always waiting at the liquor store, 40 oz to Freedom, so I’ll take that walk. You look so fine when you lie it just don’t show that I know which way the wind blows. 40 oz to freedom is the only chance I have to feel good, even though I feel bad.

She was living in a single room with three other individuals, one of them was a male, and the other...

Sat, 16 Jul 2011 01:07:40 -0400

She was living in a single room with three other individuals, one of them was a male, and the other two, well hell, the other two were females. God only knows what they were up to in there, and furthermore, Susan, I wouldn’t be the least bit surprised to learn that all four of them habitually smoked marijuana cigarettes….. Reefers. I smoke two joints in the morning, I smoke two joint at night, I smoke two joint in the afternoon, it makes me feel alright. I smoke two joints in time of peace and two in time of war. I smoke two joints before I smoke two joints, and then I smoke two more. Daddy he once told me, ”Daughter, you be hard workin’ woman”, and momma she once told me, ”Daughter, you do the best you can”. Then one day I meet a man, he came to me and said, ”Hard work good and hard work fine, but first take care of head”. Whoa rock me to the night, Ja say.

I really fucking miss and love you. It’s driving me insane.

Fri, 15 Jul 2011 23:22:57 -0400

I really fucking miss and love you. It’s driving me insane.

I love my big tits.

Fri, 15 Jul 2011 23:21:24 -0400

I hate going on vacation.

Fri, 15 Jul 2011 23:20:17 -0400